Self-care is the process by which we, well, care for ourselves. It looks different based on culture, gender, race, and desired effects, yet we can all agree that self-care is important.
Self-care throughout the years has morphed into a lot of this vs. that. This product vs. that product. This amount of money vs. that amount. This method vs. that method.
Still with all this information out here about self-care and how to make it the most effective for each of us we all have overlooked one thing that holds the most importance to our routines.
No, I am not here to sell a cream that will make wrinkles disappear in seconds, or to promote an oil that turns dark circles and eye bags into smooth, baby's bottom under eyes.
What I have to share today is something much more powerful and effective. Believe it or not it also won't cost a dime. If you're looking to take your self-care moments to the next level keep reading.
Despite what the luxury magazines, internet ads, and your best friends on the socials say, for a successful, relaxing, and decadent self-care day you don't need more creams, lotions, acids, wooden body utensils, and 34-step face cleansing systems.
All you need is one thing and that one thing is: to slow down.
This is the part where you click away because you got the answer you needed and it's so simple you think, "no duh, I'll race and do this right now."
But this is the part where I as the writer offer a challenge to stay and keep reading because although slowing down seems simple enough the fact is we simply aren't doing it and not slowing down is affecting almost every area of our lives, for the worst.
Take note of how you do the next 3 things you do for yourself.
Whether you are sipping a cup of tea, reading a book, headed to the grocery store, getting ready for the day, or cleaning your home, how are you doing it?
More than likely, without even seeing you I can tell that you are probably, especially if you are American, doing that thing, whatever it is, in a rush.
In the shower the soap gets squeezed on the washcloth, loofah, African net sponge, or in the palm of your hand. Rub body. Rub body. Rinse, rinse, rinse. Out quickly.
Out of the shower the toothpaste is squeezed on the brush, up and down, circles, circles, circles, spit, mouth wash, fast.
In the closet, this and that match or last night I picked it out already, pull it on, zip it up, button it, cinch, lace up. Move!
To the hair, water goes spray, spray, spray. Product goes hands, product goes rubbed into hands, product goes to hair. Brushed, smoothed, hair tie. Or if locked or wigged or braided, spray, spray, spray goes the water. Smooth, smooth, smooth goes the edges. Run!
The day rushes and races on quickly this way, can't waste a moment, not a minute can be spared.
But this is where we are failing to see that we are doing ourselves the most major disservice.
How we do one thing is how we do all things.
And how we do all things is how we teach others and special moments how to treat us.
If we are wondering why good things seem to come into our worlds and then exit just as quick.
If we are pondering how money seems to dart into the room and then dash out of it so suddenly.
If we are finding that every lover, friend, and acquaintance seems to treat us like honeybees on flowers, no time to waste, land, pollen, on to the next.
My fellow human being, it is because we are racing through life.
We aren't taking this moment or any moment to slow down.
To breathe. To laugh. To feel. To notice. To admire. To think. To stay put. To stay still. To allow our senses to sense.
Our buzzing and flitting and fleeing and rapid motion is teaching everything around us that we simply don't have the time.
Every action we are conducting screams to the world, to the universe, to the heavens, "LOOK AT ME I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT AND THEREFORE YOU TOO MUST MOVE QUICKLY AROUND or AWAY FROM ME!"
Our body language and movement signals to every opportunity, "I am in a rush, I don't believe I have time to enjoy this or that. Pack it up. I'll take it to go."
Our speed is dictating how fast everything must move around us. We are telling everyone and everything exactly how to interact with us: quickly for we do not have enough time.
What we are missing in all this rushing, is that we do have the time.
We always had the time.
We have the time to move slowly.
We have the time to be cared for gently.
We have the time to enjoy each moment.
We have the time to appreciate this minute, admire this hour, flirt with every second.
We have the time to feel cozy and safe.
We have the time to touch and be touched.
The time to love and be loved.
To laugh. To giggle. To feel soft. To feel secure.
(Switch out "we" to "I" and say each as you get ready. These now have become self-care affirmations. You're welcome.)
We wonder where the best moments go, and we do not realize that by rushing we ask them to leave before they can get comfortable.
We look to the next goal, the next milestone, the next win, before we even take time to celebrate this moment right where we are.
We have the time, beautiful one, to enjoy this minute.
We have the time, powerful people, to ensure that all around us is done, and done right.
There is time for us in this world. There is a time for all we want to do.
There is time to become all we are meant to be. There is time to apply products slowly.
There is time for all that we are.
When they say, "take up space" choose to move in a way that shows you value yourself enough, care for yourself enough, to take up space and time.
Fill up time as if you are water in a glass.
Slow down. Be graceful. Give yourself some grace.
Slow down and watch how the world meets you with joy that has time to luxuriate, with happiness that has room to stretch, with softness and gentleness that doesn't stress about when it has to come to an end.
Slow down and enjoy this moment.
Sure, there are times for urgency, but is your urgent moments balanced to your slowed moments? Take time now. Slow down.
Thank you for taking the time to be here with me today.
I appreciate you. I am grateful for you.
You are worthy of time.
If you enjoyed this post, you may also enjoy this one:
The Sound of Silence: Finding Peace in a Noisy World